Cuck
Hello, I am Kurtis Petits De Manger (it means small dick in French), a cuckold activist. I use some variation of the word “cuckold” approximately 250 times a day, to the point where my relationships with friends and family are suffering because of it. I have been told to stop, or even slowly wean myself off of the word by several of my closest confidants, but their pleas have fallen on cuck ears. I love the word cuck, and I will never apologize for saying it. I will destroy everything good in my own life to continue to spew the word out of my mouth in recombinant slang or incoherent fragments because to say “cuck” is to achieve linguistic enlightenment. In this short piece, I will explore the aesthetic and philosophical value to the word “cuck” and attempt to convince the reader of the beauty and power of this wondrous word.
The dictionary would tell you a cuck or cuckold is “the husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision,” but this definition is limiting at best, and explicitly wrong at worst. Some fucking cuck definitely put that shit in the dictionary. To be a cuck is to cuck and be cucked, but also, only cucks have never been cucked. Are you starting to understand? No? Of course not. How could you possibly? But stick with me, dear reader, and I promise your patience will not be rewarded.
To be a cuck or to cuck? That is the question that has plagued my mind since embarking on this Herculean effort of life-affirmation. As I use the word more and more, I find it less important to distinguish its contextual meaning. Take for example the following sentence, “If you’re not a cuck, you’re a fucking cuck.” To the uninformed (or un-cucked) this sentence is absolutely non-sensical; the protasis, or conditional clause, explicitly contradicts the apodosis, or, as it is colloquially known, the main clause expressing the consequence. But to those who cuck and are cucks, a sort of double spiraled helix of recursive contextualization leaps back and forth from one “cuck” to the other in ecstatic perpetuity when one delves into the murky meaning of this sentence. If you are attempting to parse meaning of this Shangri-La of letters and spaces you have missed the point entirely. Let the words roll off of your tongue and bask in your pallet before springing out into the world fresh and original as the rosy bottom of a newborn babe. This word, and this sentence, gives man access to that which he has longed for since the dawn of time: the forbidden fruit of simultaneity. Haunted by the concept of mutual exclusion since his inception, archaic spectres of exclusive duality have ruled over the man’s subconscious (the ying and the yang, for example) since the early aughts. We thought, foolishly, one cannot be both dead and alive, or simultaneously awake and asleep- you were either Salt or Peppa. But when you, or I, or anyone else utters the phrase “if you’re not a cuck, you’re a fucking cuck,” these opposites collapse in on each other. Cuck is the turnkey that frees us of our linguistic shackles. Man hasn’t killed God. He has replaced him.
Experience for yourself the ecstasy of etherial dissonance. Stand against the physical constraints of possibility. Say the word “cuck.”
