Blog Post #3

“Don’t spit down, because it might land on your shoes” — Lithuanian Proverb

Control your own self. Create the open circle of your “me”. Only when your center yourself can you truly unlock your you-me true-me. Please, please, please buy my patented 7 step self-help series, “I-Construct your You-Life” so I can make alimony payments to my ex-wife. I don’t want the judge to take my house for restitution. Here’s an excerpt from Book 3, Chapter 5: Lessons Of Phrenology: Unlocking Your Inner “you-me”.

Today, I’m reminded of the Tonka; a recently discovered tribe native to the Eastern Baltic in what is now modern day Lithuania. Their smooth brain pans allow them to process only three colors, and thus our understanding of their anthropological history is shaped through their tricolored experience of the natural world. Too often do we try to see four or more colors; that is, we overwhelm ourselves with a million smaller tasks when we should be tackling our problems from a more ‘macro’ perspective. We would do well to take a deep breath sometimes, and simplify our own lives like these dog-eyed savages. Sometimes the simplest lessons we have forgotten in this fast-paced world full of lasers must be relearned from people like these. These dirty, dirty Lithuanians.

We have a lot more to learn from the Tonka, whose concave Baltic brow ridge and no upper eyelids gives them the ability to see upwards without having to move their head. Experts theorized they evolved in this specialized way to scout for gigantic predatory birds hunting them from above while expending the least energy.

Do you get it or do I need to spell it out for you? Alright, Jesus. We need to be able to both look up to stave off the metaphorical predatory birds circling us from high above, waiting for one of us to stray ever so slightly from the pack so they can carry us away with their razor sharp talons and regurgitate us to their young AND not spit down onto the backs of our metaphorical carrier-slaves because it might splatter on some of our own clothing. Do yet get what I’m saying, now? Exactly right, we need to look up and be positive, but not spend too much energy doing so. We also need to not spit down, because spit is icky and it might get on our shoes.

But, when we look up and don’t spit down, we also need to look forward, but not so far forward that we don’t concentrate on our inner-me. We may not have the tri-color vision, the concave brow, or the smooth brain pan of these noble savages but we might all do a little better to live our life more simply, like them. The simple people.

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